You love your parents, and want to make sure they’re well taken care of in later life, just as they’ve cared for you all your life. In your heart, you know your parent will be better off in an assisted living home. Understandably, they might be resistant to the idea, and this can make it hard for them to relax after moving into their new assisted living home.
Your parent is likely experiencing a whole host of emotions they don’t know how to confront. Maybe they’re refusing to part with years of accumulated trinkets and memories, or are so overwhelmed with emotion that they won’t even acknowledge it’s happening. They might even think you’re sending them to a care home to forget about them, even though assisted living is a far cry from residential care.
It’s important to be considerate of their feelings, understand their perspective, and do what you can to help them through the move and settle into their new lifestyle. Whatever your parent is struggling with, you’re the best person to help them talk to them about how assisted living will benefit them and help them stay independent for longer in their own private home. Our guide aims to give you direction on how to navigate their transition to assisted living.
Discover assisted living at McCarthy & Stone
Preparing for the move into assisted living
Planning ahead can help your parent gradually get used to the idea of assisted living and make the move less stressful. In contrast, if the move is sprung upon them with little preparation, the experience could feel very jarring.
All moves involve lots of practical preparation, which your parent can get involved in by:
- Choosing a moving date
- Hiring moving services
- Completing paperwork
- Creating checklists of things to do before and after the move.
Helping your parent prepare emotionally
Aside from the practical and administrative tasks, there is naturally going to be an emotional aspect to the upcoming move. Your parent is facing the prospect of leaving a home they might have spent decades in, making memories, raising a family, and they know every nook and cranny.
Though they’re getting older, your mum and dad still have autonomy and desire independence, so it’s important not to inadvertently infantilise them simply because you know this move is the best route for them. They should feel fully involved and in control of their future.
Have open conversations with your parent about moving, ask them questions, listen to their worries, and really acknowledge their concerns with empathy and guide them through your research on assisted living.
The best way to fully comprehend the benefits of assisted living is to experience the lifestyle firsthand. At McCarthy & Stone, we offer one night’s complimentary stay at one of our developments so your parents can see what it’s like and get much-needed reassurance.
Downsize without the stress
A move to a retirement property will likely mean downsizing, which is a good opportunity to declutter. It can be helpful to have a decluttering checklist:
- Keep: Anything your parents use, wear, or love, such as clothing and blankets.
- Donate: Anything they no longer need or use, or won’t have space for. Their three-piece sofa suite is unlikely to fit in their new home, for example.
- Gift: Heirlooms, furniture, and long-forgotten Christmas decorations in their attic are all things which can be given to family or friends.
- Dispose of: Anything in poor condition, or that can’t be donated or gifted, such as broken appliances, well-worn clothing, and furniture that no longer has fire safety labels.
Taking meaningful possessions and home comforts such as photos, books, and scented candles can provide some familiarity to help your parent feel safer and more at ease in their new home. They can even bring their pet with them!
Help everything go smoothly on moving day
Remember that your mum and dad’s last moving day could have been decades ago. It’ll all be new to them, so having you by their side to guide them through this significant day will mean the world to them.
- Before moving day, use one of our Moving Made Easy services to take the stress out of decluttering and transporting belongings to the development.
- Upon arrival, you’ll be welcomed by the development manager, who will have the keys to your parent’s new home. It’s a good idea for you to exchange contact information with the management team if you haven’t already, so they can contact you in case of emergency.
- Stay with your parent on their first day, helping them unpack, having dinner, and walking around their new community together so they can find their bearings.
- Encourage them to meet their new neighbours and see how the community operates.
Helping your loved one settle into assisted living
It’ll likely take longer than a day for your parents to feel fully settled. In the first few weeks or months after moving into assisted living, you might think about:
- Asking them how they’re getting on and being a supportive shoulder to lean on, whether they’re stressed, worried, or enjoying the positives of assisted living.
- Visiting regularly so they have a familiar face and something to look forward to, particularly if they’re struggling to make friends.
- Talking through concerns with them. If you’re worried about saying the wrong thing or making them feel sad, remember that your company alone is all they need.
- Get hold of the development’s social calendar and encourage your parent to take part in community activities.
- Help them establish new routines in their home, development, and local community.
Support your loved one every step of the move with Retirement Living Plus
Moving is stressful at the best of times, but you don’t have to navigate the process alone. Our Moving Made Easy packages help the transition go as smoothly as possible and include services such as removals, decluttering, and hanging frames and shelves in your parents' new home to make it their own.
Assisted living at our Retirement Living Plus developments is designed to make later life more enjoyable, with independent lifestyle support services available as and when you need them. Each resident has their own private apartment within our supportive and active communities, so your mum or dad will make friends and enjoy events in our social calendar in no time.
Learn more about our Retirement Living Plus developments by contacting us online or calling us on 0800 201 4811. A member of our lovely team will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have, or arrange a visit to one of our developments so your parents can experience the lifestyle for themselves.
Browse assisted living properties
FAQs about settling parents into assisted living
How do I convince my parents that assisted living is right for them?
Your mum or dad should never feel as though they’ve been forced to move out of their beloved home and into alternative accommodation. Start by having an honest discussion about their changing needs and what living options might work for them instead. You should also talk to them about costs to weigh up whether a care home or assisted living is more financially viable for their needs.
What should my parents take with them into assisted living care?
When everything around you is unknown, it can be hard to see yourself at home, but if you have familiar comforts, it can be much easier to adjust to your environment. While your parents should declutter ahead of their move to accommodate a smaller space, this doesn’t mean they have to get rid of everything they love. Maybe they can bring their favourite armchair to relax in, go-to mugs for comforting hot drinks, and photo albums to flick through.
As well as everyday niceties, a move to a new home is a great excuse to go shopping for more practical things, like new bedding, kitchenware, and art prints to put their personal spin on the place. They won’t need to bring any large appliances, like a dishwasher or washing machine, or install adaptations, as these will be provided in the property.
How long does it take to settle into assisted living?
Everyone settles at different rates, depending on their personality, what prompted the move, and all the other complexities that come with moving in later life. Some people immediately thrive, while others might need a few weeks or months to get comfortable and feel at home. Once they do, they’ll be able to fully live the life they want in a supportive environment.
How can I continue supporting my parents after they move?
The settling-in period could take a while, so having your continued support will be incredibly important to your parents. Stay in regular contact with them, either over text, video call, or by popping by for a visit. If their new home is closer to you, this will make regular visits much easier. Most of our developments have guest suites for friends and family, so if the distance is slightly too far for a day trip, you’re welcome to enjoy a night in one of our suites – at a much lower cost than a hotel.
We’ll take care of any care needs they might have, so you can relax knowing they’re well looked after when you’re not around.
